Never Grow Up
by My Quiet Riot
Summary: Natara watches from the sidelines as her younger sister, Neha, grows up, and realizes what she might have taken for granted when she was younger. She also learns new things about herself through Neha, and vows to always protect her sister. Songfic - based on the song 'Never Grow Up' by Taylor Swift.


**Hello! I decided to write & upload another songfic, because they're pretty fun to write. I noticed there's not a ton of Neha (Natara's sister) in the volumes, & I really like her character for some reason. So I wanted one with Neha & Natara. C: This is basically about Natara watching Neha grow up. C: I looked it up, & Natara was born in 1980, & Neha in 1993; so Natara is older by 13 years, making Natara younger in this songfic, also. & while I was looking that up, I found that Neha & I have the same birthday (November 9th). Only she's 3 years older. xD & yes, I realize this song wouldn't have been around when Natara was 13, because Taylor Swift would've been about 4, but let's pretend, okay? C: Anyways... I hope you enjoy, & possibly leave a review. C: & yeah, I am aware, it's fricking long. xD**

**Note: At the beginning of this, Neha is a baby, making Natara 14. When Neha is 14, like in the song, Natara is 27 or 28. & then, well... you can do the math from there. xD**

**Enough of my blabbing; enjoy!**

* * *

The full moon pierced the dark night outside, and stars shown bright in the quiet November sky. It was a peaceful night, until a baby's shrieking woke Natara Mansignh up. She groggily got up and walked to her door, where she saw her dad trudging tiredly to her baby sister's room, dark bags under his eyes. Both her mom and dad had been very tired since Neha was brought home a month ago, so Natara tried to help however she could.

"I'll get her, dad," Natara said quietly, slipping out of her room. "I like spending time with her."

Her dad, Raj Mansignh, rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Are you sure, Nat?" he asked, somewhat skeptically.

"Yes! I don't mind."

"Well, okay, but come and get me if she doesn't settle down soon,"

"I will!" she promised, slipping soundlessly into Neha's room. She heard her dad retreat back down the hall, and quietly close his bedroom door behind him.

The walls in Neha's room were painted a light pink. Her crib was placed in a corner, and a small dresser sat in the opposite corner. To the left of the crib, a window let in the soft moonlight. A cushioned rocking chair sat at the foot of the crib, with a small table beside it. Next to the chair was a box of infant toys; stuffed animals, soft rattles, and a few blankets.

Natara peeked over the crib, then walked over to the CD player perching on Neha's dresser. She pulled out a CD, put it into the player, and pushed the buttons until the song she wanted came up. The pretty, lullaby-like opening chords of the song danced through the room. Natara walked back over to the crib, carefully picking up Neha, who was still wailing away. She sat down in the rocking chair, rocking gently back and forth. This soothed Neha a little.

_Your little hands wrapped around my finger_  
_And it's so quiet in the world tonight_  
_Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming_  
_So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light_

The first few lines of the song played, as Neha looked up at Natara, her cries subsiding. Neha grabbed at Natara's long, dark hair that hung loosely down her shoulders. Natara lightly tickled Neha's stomach, causing her to giggle. Natara smiled, and suddenly felt a little nostalgia coming back. Sure, Natara herself was only 14, but there were a lot of things she missed about being little.

_To you, everything's funny_  
_You got nothing to regret_  
_I'd give all I have, honey_  
_If you could stay like that_

Natara suddenly felt the strong need to protect Neha from anything bad. Although she knew bad things would happen, she wanted to make sure Neha stayed safe and innocent as long as possible. She wished she could make sure Neha wouldn't have to feel heartbreak or regret or pain; especially not the teasing she sometimes had to endure for "being a nerd". Of course, that wish wasn't practical, but she found herself wishing it all the same. Neha's tiny life was so simple right now; she knew of very little beyond the room, or even the crib. Nothing could hurt her feelings or break her heart, or cause her pain, besides maybe being hungry. As much as Natara had wanted to grow up when she was younger, she was beginning to realize now that she hadn't appreciated some of the little things that came with being little.

_Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up_  
_Just stay this little_  
_Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up_  
_It could stay this simple_

Natara had never had her heart broken, as she didn't exactly have the longest track record of guys she'd dated. Okay, she thought to herself, so the track record is non-existent so far. But maybe that wasn't such a bad thing; she'd seen some pretty dramatic breaks-ups by just watching and listening to others, and she wasn't sure she wanted to get involved with guys. Not that there was a particularly long list of guys who'd get involved with her, but still. Maybe that could wait. She was partially afraid of getting hurt, and wanted nothing to do with guys, but she was also afraid that she would never be the type of girl to love or be loved. She was pretty, but fell under the "nerd" group at school, as she was very smart and was involved with several of the school clubs that were not the most popular to be in. But there was nothing wrong with Debate Team, Math Club, and Mock Congress, right?

She sighed, wishing she could spare Neha from thoughts like this, too. Maybe Neha would end up popular, with guys throwing themselves at her. She looked down at the baby in her lap and Neha smiled at her, producing a smile of her own.

"Let's think about those things later," she whispered softly, more to herself than to Neha. "Right now, let's focus on the present." Neha giggled, grabbing Natara's hair again, tugging slightly. Natara lightly uncurled Neha's tiny fingers from her hair, and replaced it with a small stuffed pony. She had bought it for Neha, and she appeared to like it. There was a cat stuffed animal, too, amidst others, but Natara hated cats. Maybe Neha would hate cats as well.

_I won't let nobody hurt you_  
_Won't let no one break your heart_  
_No, no one will desert you_  
_Just try to never grow up, never grow up_

Natara made up her mind, in that moment, that she would always try to protect Neha as much as she could. Even if she became annoying as time passed, she would protect her.

As the song played on, its gentle notes bouncing lightly off the walls, Neha began to fall asleep. Her eyelids fluttered, and sleep eventually overcame her. Neha was still holding the horse and smiling as she fell into a peaceful sleep. Natara sat for a few moments, listening to the baby's gentle breathing and the soft notes playing from the CD player. Eventually, she stood and slowly set a sleeping Neha back in her crib, then flipped on the moon-shaped nightlight. She walked over and turned the CD player off, then slipped out of Neha's room and back into her own. Natara slid back into her own bed, and soon fell asleep.

* * *

"But mom!" Neha protested, "I'm 14! Why can't I get a ride from Ashton? It's just dinner and a movie!"

Natara rolled her eyes and suppressed a sigh. Her and her mother were sitting at the table, while Neha stood across from them, defiantly protesting. Her friend had invited her to go to the movies on a double date. A guy she liked, Ashton, who was also her date for the night, asked if she wanted to ride with him. Their mother had immediately said no, stating that she would drive Neha.

"I don't know this boy, Neha," their mother replied tiredly, "I just want to keep you safe."

"Mom! Ashton is fine, he's not gonna kill me,"

Natara tensed up a little at this, as she knew of situations where this would happen. She said nothing, however, and figured it was wiser to stay out of it.

Neha was at the age where she thought she knew everything, and she could make every decision herself. Of course, Natara had gone through that phase, too, so she couldn't really blame her. But being in her mid-to-late 20's now, she knew better. She still sometimes questioned her decisions, but they were now her own to make.

"NEHA!" their mother yelled, quickly losing her patience. "Either I am driving you, or you will be staying home. Take your pick."

Neha sighed over-dramatically, turned on her heel, and stomped upstairs. Natara stifled a laugh as she watched her sister storm up the lengthy stair case. Their mother exhaled deeply, muttering something about teenagers.

A song suddenly popped into Natara's mind. She hadn't heard it in a very long time, but she still remembered the lyrics. She had played it for Neha a lot when she was an infant.

_You're in the car on the way to the movies_  
_And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off_  
_At 14, there's just so much you can't do_  
_And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots_

She almost laughed at how well the song matched Neha's situation at the moment. The next part made her kind of sad; she had never fully appreciated everything her mother and father had done for her, even if her father didn't care to talk with her much anymore. She supposed it was her own fault, but she didn't regret her career decision at all.

_But don't make her drop you off around the block_  
_Remember that she's getting older, too_  
_And don't lose the way that you dance around_  
_In your PJ's getting ready for school_

"I can drive her if you want," Natara offered, setting her coffee down.

Her mom glanced over at her, pouring herself another mug. "Oh, would you?" she said, relief clear in her voice. "That would be wonderful. Thank you."

Natara nodded with a smile, taking another sip of coffee."

"She's supposed to be there in an hour," her mother said flatly, sitting down again. "You should go talk to her, maybe she'll calm down."

Natara set her coffee down her coffee again, and walked up the long staircase, turning down the hall to Neha's room. Her door was closed, of course, and she could hear her bustling around inside. She opened the door halfway, sliding through.

"Ever heard of knocking?" Neha snapped, spinning around and glaring at Natara.

Natara bit back a sarcastic reply, deciding now was not the time for such remarks.

"I was just wondering if you wanted me to drive you instead of mom," she said ignoring Neha's comment and leaning her shoulder against the white-painted door frame. "If that's cooler, or whatever," she added jokingly.

Neha sighed, her glare softening. "Yeah, I... uh, if you really want to. Thanks."

Neha turned back to the mirror briefly, then back to Natara. "Do I look okay?" she asked nervously, fidgeting with her hair.

Natara looked her sister up and down. Her light blue blouse hung loosely around her thin frame, and small ruffles lined the sleeves and bottom seam. Three small, white buttons ran down the top. Tight, dark-blue jeans were matched with black, neatly-tied Converse. Her dark hair, much like Natara's, hung just past her tan shoulders. Her eyelashes were long with mascara, and black eyeliner lightly lined her eyes. Her eyelids were tinted blue with a light blue that faded into white towards the corners of her eyes.

"Yeah," Natara replied honestly, "You look beautiful."

"Thanks," Neha said with a smile.

"So you really like this Ashton kid, huh?" Natara teased lightly. She took Neha's sheepish smile as a yes.

"This sounds really cliche, but just be yourself," Natara said frankly. "If some guy is gonna have a crush on my little sister, he should like you for you," she added with a smile.

Neha turned to her and smiled warmly. "Thanks, Nat."

"You're welcome. And... try to go a little easier on mom. She's only saying all of that because she loves you. We can't have you dating a heart-breaker, now can we?"

Neha smiled, a bit guiltily. "Okay... I know that, I'm just... frustrated."

"I know," she said, turning to the door. "Let me know when you're ready to go."

As she walked down the hall and back down the stairs, the chorus of the song she had played for Neha years ago came back, followed by another few lines.

_No one's ever burned you_  
_Nothing's ever left you scarred_  
_And even though you want to_  
_Just try to never grow up_

She exhaled, realizing how fast Neha was growing up. Being thirteen years older than Neha, she clearly remembered her sister as a little baby.

The next few lines succeeded in slightly depressing Natara. They had always made her sad, even when she was 14 and rocking Neha back and forth in the old rocking chair.

_Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room_  
_Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home_  
_Remember the footsteps, remember the words said_  
_And all your little brother's favorite songs_

_I just realized everything I have_  
_Is someday gonna be gone_

She sighed reminiscently, feeling a bit nostalgic. She remembered all of the things that she took for granted about being a teen, as well of the things she never really did, being in the "nerd" group. She was the type that would rather go to the library and read on a Friday night, instead of going to sleepovers or parties. Not that she was often invited to them, besides study groups with her "nerd-clique".

She almost laughed at the memories; she even had braces back then.

* * *

Neha sat in the passenger seat while Natara drove. They were headed to Neha's new dorm room at college. Neha had nearly-begged Natara to come with her. Natara agreed, as she guessed Neha was just beginning to feel a little of the lonely-nostalgia that could creep up on you in times of big changes such as this. Neha was going to be attending a rather large college; the campus was gigantic. She would have a room-mate, but she wasn't moving in for another week. Classes didn't start for another month and a half.

Natara glanced over at Neha, who was nervously playing with one of the bracelets on her arm. "Nervous?" she asked.

Neha turned her head slightly to look at her sister. "A little," she muttered. "Ah, who am I kidding? I'm terrified. How the hell did you do this by yourself?"

"It's not like I wasn't scared either," she said with a laugh. "Hell, I was practically shaking; that's how scared I was."

"You?" Neha asked, not bothering to hide her surprise. She had always thought her sister was completely fearless. Of course, that was probably irrational, but she really didn't think it mattered in her case.

Natara laughed again. "Don't act so surprised," she said, amused. "Just because I work for the FBI, doesn't mean I'm not scared of things; and coming from my high-popularity status in high school, I was quite nervous." She added the last part jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

Neha laughed. "So what are you scared of, anyways? I've never really noticed anything that appears to scare you."

Natara momentarily tensed. Love, she thought to herself. I'm scared of not being the type of girl who can love or be loved.

"Well, there's always spiders," she said with a smile, pulling into the parking lot in front of Neha's dorm complex.

Neha rolled her eyes, getting out of the car. "You and I both know that you are not scared of spiders. Not to the least."

Natara helped Neha carry her bags and several boxes of decorative supplies in, setting them on the small couch in the corner.

"No, really," Neha said seriously, after she had set down another box. "What are you scared of? I legitimately do not know. To me, you seem completely fearless."

She never knew Neha thought that of her, and she smiled. Even if it wasn't true, it was nice to know Neha thought that.

"That is comprehensively untrue," she said, laughing. She debated whether or not to tell Neha what she had thought in the car. Why not, she concluded after little thought. "But if I'm honest, I'm quite frankly scared of love; like, romantic love. I'm scared of never loving or being loved, and especially getting hurt." She felt her cheeks grow hot as soon as it was out, and she silently cursed herself for saying it out loud.

Neha just stood, staring at her. "Wow," she said, leaning against the wall. "I really wouldn't have guessed that; at all."

Natara looked away, nervously biting her lip.

"I wouldn't worry about it, though," Neha said thoughtfully. "You're gorgeous, and honestly one of the nicest and bravest people ever... and there's always that Mal guy."

Natara smiled and rolled her eyes, flushing slightly at the compliments and the mention of Mal. It was nice to know that Neha wasn't all jokes, though; she knew when to be serious. She really was growing up.

"Thanks, Neha,"

They finished bringing boxes inside in comfortable silence. Once the last one was in the dorm, Neha walked with Natara down to her car.

"Thanks for helping me, Nat," Neha said. "Really, I appreciate it."

"You're welcome," Natara replied, smiling, and then turning to get in her car.

"And Nat?"

"Yeah?" She turned around to face Neha again.

"I love you." Neha reached in and hugged her sister, suddenly feeling scared again.

Natara was momentarily surprised, as Neha normally shied away from hugs. But she didn't hesitate to hug her back, feeling her sister's fright.

"I love you, too," Natara said, pulling away. "Don't be too nervous," she added. "You'll be okay. And give me a call if you ever need anything; I'm not too far away."

Neha waved with a nervous smile as Natara drove off. She slowly walked back up to her dorm and sat down on the couch, feeling more alone than ever.

Lyrics from a song she hadn't heard in a while flooded her memories. Natara had played it for her a lot when she was younger.

_So here I am in my new apartment_  
_In a big city, they just dropped me off_  
_It's so much colder than I thought it would be_  
_So I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on_

_Wish I'd never grown up_  
_I wish I'd never grown up_

Neha suddenly wished she hadn't taken so much for granted when she was younger. She realized she wished away a lot of the time she should have spent just being little. She suddenly was scared of the future; of college. She didn't want to grow up anymore.

_Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up_  
_Could still be little_  
_Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up_  
_It could still be simple_

The chorus echoed through her mind several times, before she pushed herself up off the couch.

"I may be scared of this," she said out loud, confidently. "But I'm going to jump in anyways."

* * *

**Well, I hope you liked that. Again, yes, it was extremely long, but it was kind of broken up into three periods of time as they're both growing up. Leave a review & tell me what you think? Thanks! C:**


End file.
